Primal Sympathy
by krispieso
Summary: The sight of Dan in the distance caused Blair and her pesky thoughts to come to a halt. He slowly turned his head to the side and their eyes met for the first time in four years. Dan and Blair set a few years after Season 5. AU One-Shot


**A/N: I've had this story sitting in my folders since last summer. I wrote it not too long after the season 5 finale. Like many other Dan and Blair fans, I did not particularly like how season 5 ended, and I only saw bits and pieces of season 6. (Dan and Blair scenes that I saw around on tumblr and bits of the finale) For this story, I was inspired by the the last scene in the movie _Splendor in the Grass_ with Warren Beatty and Natalie Wood. So if you've seen it, then you kinda know how this one-shot will end. **

**This story is set about 4 years after the season 5 finale and for the sake of this fic (and my sanity), season 6 did not happen. This is a One-Shot.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gossip Girl, I just like to play with its characters. I haven't written fan fiction in _years_, although I do still read some. The title comes from the poem, _Splendour in the Grass_, by William Wordsworth. This is my first Gossip Girl/Dan and Blair story. I don't write stories often, therefore constructive criticism is always welcome. All the mistakes are mine, as I did not use a beta. **

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The Brooklyn sun was threatening to break through the somber clouds that hung over the city. Blair Waldorf could say she didn't know why she was walking down this particular street in Brooklyn, but that would be a lie. She knew exactly why she was there. In less than three weeks she was getting married but a certain muppet haired boy-no, man- consumed her thoughts. She hadn't seen him in four years and there was a part of her _needed_ to see him- just to see if he was okay.

She heard from Nate that he had been traveling the world to get inspiration for his writings, but nothing else. Blair never asked for more than that and no one divulged further. With the end of Gossip Girl, it was harder to obtain information that used to be just a click away. Yesterday, Nate let it slip that Dan was back in town and that he was staying at the loft with his father, who had moved back to Brooklyn after the fallout with Lily. Blair couldn't understand why Lily chose Bart over Rufus. It never made sense, especially since Lily looked miserable the last time she saw her.

A gust of wind blew down the street causing Blair to shiver and pull her coat closer to her body. She quickly pushed the thoughts of Lily's predicament out of her mind, it hit a little too close to home. As she got closer to his building her thoughts drifted back to Dan. Had he altered much? His hair was probably still a mess. Blair couldn't help but smile at the image of Dan with that ridiculous hair he never wanted to cut. She always wondered how it managed to be both annoying and endearing at the same time.

Dan walked the Brooklyn streets hoping something-anything-would trigger his next great story. He had spent the last hour at his favorite coffee shop observing anyone who came in his line of vision. One of Dan's favorite pastimes from when he was younger was coming up with detailed stories about the random people he saw walking down the street or sitting alone on a bench drinking a cup of coffee. That was when he discovered his love for writing. After wasting enough time with little avail, Dan headed back to his dad's place. It was weird being back in New York, it had been four years and so much had changed yet the city always seems to stay the same. It was almost comforting. There was a chill in the air and Dan rummaged through his pockets looking for something. Only one hand pulled out a glove, he couldn't believe he lost the other one somewhere in the bustle. He shoved his hands back in his coat pockets to keep them warm and continued his journey home. Home, it was a different feeling for him. He had been gone for four years and he thought he had found places that he felt he could call home, but this was different. Brooklyn would always be home and there was no changing that. Dan could finally see his building and quickened his pace.

Blair's memories of her and Dan's time together continued to pass through her mind. She was getting closer to her destination and that's when she saw him. The sight of Dan in the distance caused Blair and her pesky thoughts to come to a halt. His hands were still shoved in his pockets as he approached the door to his building. She took this opportunity to soak in his appearance. His hair was just as wild as it had been four years ago and it appeared as though he hadn't shaved in days. Just as his hand reached the doorknob, he hesitated. He always had this strange ability to sense when she was near. He slowly turned his head to the side and their eyes met for the first time in four years.

She sucked in a breath; there was no turning back now. She gave a small wave and started walking toward him. "Dan, hi," she offered with smile. It was such a casual greeting. Almost too casual, considering the circumstances.

Dan's eyes were wide and in complete shock. Although his features showed no signs of anger or hatred. Blair let out a sigh of relief. Once the shock wore off his brow furrowed in confusion as he asked what she was doing there. The way he said it wasn't cold but full of curiosity.

"I heard you were in town and..." The words weren't coming out as easily as she'd hoped. She broke the eye contact they held and looked at the ground. "...and I just wanted to see how you were doing." She forced herself to slowly lift her eyes up to meet his again because Blair Waldorf always looked people in the eye when she spoke to them.

Dan studied her for a moment. "Oh," was his only reply. They stood there for what seemed like forever, just staring at each other. Both not sure if this was really happening. Dan shook his head and broke the trance. "I'm sorry, would you like to come up?"

Blair simply nodded and followed him through the doors and up the stairs.

"So..." Dan said as he ran a hand through his long curls. It was obvious that he was at least a little uncomfortable. It had been four years since she left him and he'd be lying if he said he never thought about her. When you get left for another man with no goodbye and no explanation it kind of sticks with you. If he was being one hundred percent honest, the reason for his travels wasn't solely for inspiration, but partly to forget her. It didn't take him long to realize that forgetting her was never going to happen, but he could let her go by forgiving her. Dan had forgiven her a long time ago…he just figured she didn't care.

"How's Chuck doing?" The second the words came out of his mouth he silently berated himself and after seeing her grimace from the corner of his eye he felt worse. "Shit, I'm sorry." Of course he had heard that Chuck left her not long after he got his father's company back. "I really didn't mean to...I..." he stumbled over his words.

Blair interrupted him. "It's okay. Apparently Chuck only wants me when he reaches the depths of hopelessness. Once the pieces are put back together, he leaves. It's a cycle I should have noticed a long time ago."

Dan stopped mid step and turned to look up at Blair, who was now a few steps ahead of him. It took a minute before she realized he was standing still, staring at her. She's not an idiot, as soon she let those words flow out she realized that was exactly what she did to him. "I'm so sorry," Blair whispered. She pierced his soul with those sad doe-eyes that used to haunt his dreams. The words were genuine and no explanation was needed in reference to what she was sorry for.

Dan slowly nodded and continued up the stairs. They finally reached the loft's door. She hadn't been there in years but something about standing outside the door made her feel like it was only yesterday. As the door opened the smell of coffee and old books floated out and Blair was instantly transported back in time. It's funny how a smell can bring you back to a point in time so long ago. Blair closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath absorbing the once familiar scent. When she opened her eyes she quickly glanced around the room. Everything looked untouched from the last time she was there when she was assuring Dan that she wanted to be in _this_ relationship. She believed it when she said it, so what was the turning point? She truly couldn't remember.

"Would you like something to drink?" Dan was always one for politeness.

His question rattled Blair out of her shadowy recollections. "No thanks." She walked over to the familiar blue sofa and sat down, quietly fiddling with sleeves on her coat. Dan followed and sat in the armchair across from her.

Blair glanced out the window and absentmindedly said, "It looks like it might rain."

He followed her gaze, "Yeah, it kinda does." It was sad that this was what their conversations were reduced to. Their conversations used to flow so easliy.

They continued to make small talk, discussing how unusually cold it had been, Jenny's up and coming fashion line, Blair's work at Waldorf Designs, and Dan's writing career. He talked about how he hadn't been able to write in months and that he hoped coming back to New York would lead to renewed inspiration. Blair confessed she hadn't read any of his newer works after _Inside_, but he expected that would be the case. What she didn't tell him was that she was afraid it would hurt too much, and she'd realize what a terrible mistake she made_._ What Dan didn't tell her was that he was glad she hadn't read any of them, for fear of what she might think.

Dan sighed in frustration. He was getting tired of the mechanical conversation. Knowing the real reason she came to visit wasn't to just to chitchat, he decided it was time to cut to the chase. "Blair, I want you to know that I forgave you a long time ago." His confession jarred her, causing her whole body to instantly tense. They had been skirting around any real discussion of their past. His eyes did not leave hers as he continued, "That's why you're here, right?" She could tell he was searching her eyes for confirmation. "You want a clear conscious for some reason or another." He said it as if he it was a well-known fact. It was almost scary how well he still knew her after all these years.

Blair immediately began to feel guilty. Had she come to see him for purely selfish reasons? She genuinely wanted to see how he was doing. But a big part of her really wanted to make sure she wasn't the one to break him. Seeing him again was all the proof she needed that some guys _do_ stay good, no matter how badly they are treated. Her hands instantly became the most interesting things in the room. She stared at them in her lap, ashamed to look him in the eye. "I don't deserve it," her voice was barely audible.

"Blair," Dan said softly. The way he said her name caused her to raise her head and look at him intently. It reminded her of how he used to always say her name when they first started dating. There was still that hint of affection in it.

"No Dan, I don't. I just left you." She thought back to the way she disappeared from his life with no answers and no goodbye, only a few half-hearted emails she's not even sure he read. The regret in her voice was evident and she could see the understanding and pain on Dan's face as listened to her speak. He was finally going to get the explanation he deserved four years ago. "God, who does that?" she asked, ashamed of her past actions. Her voice softened as she looked him in the eyes. "I'm so sorry Dan. I may have come here for..." she trailed off**, **"...but I want you to know that I did..."

Blair's confession was interrupted by the door opening. A young woman entered carrying bags of groceries and was fumbling with some keys.

"Oh my gosh, the traffic out there is terrible. Rufus took Sophie to the park and I was thinking about making..." the woman looked up and saw Blair. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had a guest."

Dan immediately stood up from where he had been sitting and walked over to the mystery woman. Blair stood up quickly, as if she'd been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to do. It was in that moment that she noticed a gold band on a certain finger of Dan's left hand and a playpen in the corner of the room. How she missed that earlier in her inspection of the loft, she didn't know. Her stomach tightened and she instantly felt sick. Nate had left these details out when he mentioned Dan was back, but she doesn't blame him. This all just felt wrong. She shouldn't be there.

Dan was now standing next to the woman with one arm wrapped around her waist. "Maria, I'd like you to meet Blair. Blair Waldorf." Blair could see the recognition in Maria's eyes once her name was uttered, but Maria did not look threatened. "Blair, this is my wife, Maria." Blair's eyes went from Dan to Maria and back to Dan again. Dan gave an apologetic smile, this obviously wasn't the way he wanted her to find out.

Maria approached her and gave the most inviting smile. "It's very nice to meet you, Blair," she said as she extended her hand. Blair took it and tried her best to return the smile. She was very pretty, in a girl-next-door kind of way. Her short light brown hair and porcelain skin made her look almost angelic. The look seemed to fit her disposition as well. Maybe this was the type of woman Dan needed in his life. Not a wild-spirited girl like Serena and not a complicated and insecure girl like herself.

"It's nice to meet you too, Maria." Blair felt as though she needed an explanation for her being there. "I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by and see how Dan was doing, I heard he was back in New York." There was that innocent smile again. Blair wanted to hate her, but for some reason she couldn't. She took the opportunity during the lull in conversation to look at her nonexistent watch and announced, "You know, I should really get going. I have an appointment to get to across town. It was lovely meeting you Maria."

"Likewise. It's so nice meeting one of Dan's old friends. Maybe we'll run into each other now that Dan and I are planning on staying in New York for a while." Why did she have to be so nice?

Blair just smiled and said, "Maybe." And with that she headed for the door and started to leave the loft for the last time but Dan's voice caused her to stop.

"Wait, I'll walk you out." Dan gave his wife a quick peck on the lips and grabbed his coat.

His wife. Dan was married, and he had a little girl, Sophie. It didn't seem real. Yet there she was, in the loft watching Dan and his wife. She couldn't take her eyes off of them. She needed to see if she could tell...was he happy? After her quick examination she thought he looked content, but is that the same as happiness?

Blair instantly questioned her reason for coming to see him. What was it she was really hoping to accomplish when she walked down that familiar street in Brooklyn?

Dan and Blair started walking the stairs again but this time in complete silence. Once they reached to the bottom, Blair turned to look at him. "Are you happy Dan?" Her big eyes were searching his, pleading for an answer. That was all Blair had wanted those many years ago. She wanted him to be _happy_.

Dan thought for a minute. She could tell he was contemplating the question in his mind. "I guess." The reply wasn't indecisive, but oddly confident. He continued, "I don't really stop to ask myself that question very often." He paused and looked at her, "What about you, are you happy?"

Blair didn't answer his question directly. "I'm getting married in three weeks. He's a doctor and a really wonderful man," she replied honestly. It was her turn to pause and gage his reaction. "I think you'd like him," she added with small smile, still looking at him. Dan scrunched his face but fought to give a smile. Because no, he knew he wouldn't like him.

"I wish you all the happiness Blair, I really do." He meant it, he really did. After all, that's all he had wanted her to be, _happy_.

"Well, like you Dan, I don't really think about being happy much." She smiled softly at him and kissed him on the cheek "Goodbye Dan." And with that she walked out the door.

The sun had lost its battle with the clouds and rain poured from the sky. Blair smiled as she walked through the saturated streets as a strange feeling of restorationwashed over her.

Dan watched her walk through the rain and smiled as he shook his head in disbelief. He slowly made his way back up to the loft, his mind still trying to analyze the events that just transpired. When he reached the loft he leaned on the doorway and observed his wife chopping up some vegetables for dinner, and a smile crept up on his face. Maria looked up and returned his smile and continued preparing dinner. Dan walked over and gave his wife a quick kiss before sitting down at his desk. He slowly lifted his laptop screen and began typing.

The End.


End file.
